someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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