At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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