This girl is more easily done than said...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
