u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
