Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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