i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
