i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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