No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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