Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
