this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
