my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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