just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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