haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ladies don't puke and tell
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