I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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