Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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