Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
