Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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