i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
