So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
