You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
