She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
