when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
