Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I've blown a few things in my day
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
