dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
