The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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