I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
