There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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