You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My feet surprised me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
