I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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