batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
