oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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