could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
