When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
