he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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