I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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