Moan for me like Helen Keller
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
