The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
