Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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