Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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