the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
