This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
