What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
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