sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
