Whod you bang
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
