You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
