Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
