...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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