who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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