my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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