Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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