i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
