My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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