we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
