Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
