Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
