no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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