I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
