Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
