holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There r osticjed everywhere
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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