I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Randomize
