you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the day after is always just damage control
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize