paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
