Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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