There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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