Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
