ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
