My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize