the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
be right there i have to get my cape
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
