Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
