I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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