Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
do nipples grow back?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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