Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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