I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
