We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize